Dating in Dubai Column #3

Christiana Maxion, The Dubai Matchmaker, is rewriting the blueprint of the Dubai dating-verse, one match at a time.

Many people approach and ask me for many dating tips, but the question I’ve been getting a lot recently is: ‘We’ve now matched. How do I get on the first date?”

You’ve matched on an app…now what?!

For guys:

  1. Be the first to reach out: Opening liners are always tricky. Go to their profile, refresh your brain on their interests, and go for it!
  2. Ask a question: Please do NOT start with just ‘hey’ or ‘hi how are you?’ Get creative and ask a question about something from their profile. You must ask a question or your match really has no incentive to respond.
  3. Ask to communicate OFF the app within 48 hours: If you’re interested in this person, politely ask them for their WhatsApp number so you can organize a date. You want your match to know that you have the intention of meeting them in real life.
  4. Ask them out: Ask if they’re free and give them two options for days. Once you land on a day that works, ask them for their preference in cuisine or date spot.
  5. Send the reservation: Please send your date the reservation! This shows action and effort, which is always sexy!!
  6. Confirm the date: So many people forget this step. Whether you check in daily for a quick chat or wait till the day of the date, you MUST confirm your date with your match before 12pm noon that day! This will show initiative and add in a cheeky: ‘Can’t wait to see you tonight!’

For gals:

  • I prefer when the man makes the move, but there are apps out there that require the woman to say something first. Same advice for guys: Comment and ask something about their profile 🙂
  • If you’re interested in dating an alpha male: Let them take the lead and only chat for 48 hours before they ask you to chat off the app with the intention of getting on a date. If no initiation is made, then unmatch.
  • If you’re interested in dating a beta male: Give a little nudge to get on a date. If they keep asking question after question, then say ‘I’d rather answer that question in person. I’m free on _____ or _____ :)’ and give your two days of availability. Their reply to this will give you their true intention of meeting in person or being a pen pal.
  • To share your instagram or not to share your instagram? I always shy away from sharing instagrams before you meet someone in order to avoid any preconceived notions or prejudgments to be made about your match before meeting in person. Instead I would politely decline by saying ‘I don’t share my personal instagram, but happy to share my WhatsApp [insert phone number]’ Remember you’re sharing your WhatsApp with the intention of being asked out on a date. You do not share your instagram so someone could stalk your photos from 2015, watch all of your stories, and gain insight into your personal life. Let them put in the effort to get to know you on an actual date.
  • Now you’re on whatsapp. Use this platform to organize the date. Refrain from chatting all day. If you get into the routine of chatting all day long before you meet, you can create a false intimacy or attachment to someone you really don’t know, which can ultimately lead to a super let down when you finally meet in person. Get excited to chat ON the date and save some conversation for in-person. 🙂
  • Meet AT the venue and leave separately. You don’t know this person yet, so do you really want this person to know where you live? Plus it shuts the door on any unwanted funny business in the privacy of a vehicle.

Chemistry is hard to find in the messaging of dating apps, so I always advise everyone to get off the app and date in real life! Save your pen pal energy for your long distance friends and family. Meet your online partner in person as soon as you can to see if you have real chemistry and energy in real life.

NB: All of the advice above is for singles interested in a serious monogamous relationship.

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